The Overlord’s Memos From Copenhagen #1

As the Time Trial participants whiz past, it’s time for me reflect, short form, what has happened over the past couple days.

We’ve learned that Taylor Phinney prefers blondes by the name of Fahlin. We learned that Jonathan Vaughters is a fan of the Smurfs and loads of caffeine. We’ve learned that Rupert Guinness has a tricky shoulder and will be battling through the rest of the week like a trouper.

However, today is to answer the latest calls for my head on a platter due to the apparent nepotism emanating from yours truly towards the golden shores of Richmond.  Yes, we issued a terse memo this morning that said Muscat was withdrawing its bid, and that Quebec had already withdrawn their bid earlier on in the process. The funny thing is, if Richmond had pulled out, there would have been screams from the “pundits” saying that Muscat must have bribed us in order to ace out my little brother Darach and his bid.

Bollocks.

The trouble today is the fact that our talent pool outside the peloton is thin. Support staff. Organizers. The rest of the ilk you need in order to actually perform an event on the scale of the World Championships. The fact that we had to decree that 2015 would have someone from outside the boys club receive a bid and a nod was our attempt to try to continue our attempts to globalize the sport.

You see, outside of Europe, no one truly knows how to operate a proper event for cycling. We certainly realized this fact when the phone calls, emails, and faxes began arriving from various parties indicating their interest to host our annual caravan.

However, just because you ran the Tour of Oman, or you ran a NASCAR circuit, or you’ve happened to have limited success running a race for two years on a small scale (yes, you Frenchy Quebecers) doesn’t mean that we’ll just automatically give you the keys to the kingdom of the best event in cycling. No, it requires a thorough process and evaluation of a depth that is beyond most wankers in today’s day and age.

I’m extremely thankful that in spite of Alan Rushton losing his shorts over the Tour of Ireland, and Darach having limited success organizing events, including the Tour of Ireland, that both gents agreed to give it another go. Rushton, of course, is helping with the Tour of Beijing, and Darach put together a very thorough bid on behalf of Richmond. Rumour has it they are making his gold key to the city as we speak.

However, calls on twitter today seem to be throwing around this word with generous verbosity:

Nepotism.

Nepotism.

Esteemed colleagues, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, I will acknowledge that you may view my actions as nepotism, and from your small-minded paradigms I will acknowledge that this is true.

However, this is not nepotism by choice, but by NECESSITY. Until the talent pool of organizers and support people in cycling is broadened and raised, I will continue to make decisions that may benefit those close to me in order to preserve and protect our hallowed sport.

Necessary Nepotism. This is my platform for my election in 2012.

Enjoy the rest of the World Championships.