Sacked HTC rider, Alex Rasmussen and former Rabobank concentration camp impersonator, Michael Rasmussen, are to go head-to-head in a bare-knuckle cage fight to the death for the title of “World’s Most Missingest Rider Named Rasmussen.”
Details of the fight were released today by promotor and organiser, Global Cycling Promotion SA. The Director, Pat McQuaid, said:
A bare knuckle brawl between these two is what the world has been waiting for. We’re going to get them together in a big fuck-off cage in Las Vegas in front of a baying crowd on the 16th of October.
Tickets will be $1500 each with 100% of that going to the McQuaid Fund for Disadvantaged Irishmen in Their Search for Beach Front Property in The Maldives.
And, no, before you ask, there is no fucking conflict of interest!”
Interest in the fight is currently running at fever pitch. However, concerns have been raised over the possibility that the contest may never take place. Seeking to allay such fears McQuaid said:
Yes, I am aware that both of these guys have a reputation for not being where they should be when they are supposed to. But I have had firm assurances from both men that they will show up for this special occasion.”
Speaking exclusively to Cyclismas, Alex Rasmussen said:
Yes, I am very much looking forward to this fight. It’s about time the world realised that I am not the only Rasmussen in the world these days who doesn’t show up for drug testing. Michael has had his day. I can only hope that the ‘Chicken’ isn’t too chicken to face me!”
Somewhat irritatingly, the Dane added;
Did you see what I did there? Clever, wasn’t it?!”
Attempts were made by this journalist to contact Michael Rasmussen to comment on the forthcoming battle with his namesake, but his whereabouts are not known at this time.
1 Comment
I believe the official translation to English for Rasmussen is “wandering to avoid”