The rebels have finally destroyed the TimeWarp devices held by the Separatist factions, and the plans for the weapon that the Separatists stole from the Empire. Regrouping following their victory, they start planning an assault on the heart of the Empire itself, keen to rid the galaxy of the threat posed by the devices once and for all.
The rebels return to the home of the Jedi Council on Coruscant, and call a final meeting for all members of the alliance. Buoyed by their success in defeating the determined Separatist group, the delegations eagerly return to Coruscant, much of the previous in-fighting forgotten.
A rebel spy, hidden closely within the ranks of Darth Sagan’s Cannonfodder has been able to smuggle a little information to the rebels, at great personal risk. He has revealed that the Empire only possessed two of the TimeWarp devices, one of which was stolen by the Separatists, and that the set of plans destroyed by the rebels was the only one in existence, the hapless assistant who failed to back up the file having been choked to death for his error by a furious Darth Sagan.
In a show of strength, the rebels decide to send a huge combined force to the small planet of Paree, a central Empire base, hoping to catch the Empire unaware and to snatch the device from under their noses. The massed ranks of the rebels swiftly proceed to Paree, many still toasting the success of the campaign against the Separatists en route, small outlying groups of scouts feeding information back to the main force.
Upon arrival in Paree, the groups of scouts are swept back into the main field as the rebels approach the Empire’s hub. Swooping into the Empire’s stronghold, they dive towards the relatively unguarded TimeWarp device, scooping it up and preparing to destroy it. However, the Empire forces are quickly scrambled to retrieve the weapon, blocking the rebel’s escape.
Contador Solo confirms that with the Empire defences gathering in the skies above Paree, there is no way for the rebels to make the required dual ascents to destroy the device, and scant chance of leaving the planet with the device. As the rebels rush to stop the Empire forces regaining control of the weapon, rebel Engineers are able to confirm that centrifugal force might have the same effect as the ascents and destroy the fragile stability core of the TimeWarp device, rendering it useless. The Engineer suggests that by using the Empire landmark of the Ark of Triumph right in the centre of Paree as a slingshot to build up speed on each pass, ten passes should be enough to destroy the device for good.
The rebels set to their task immediately, building up speed and huddling together to keep the Empire forces from penetrating their defence. Solo fighters and small groups are sent from the bunch to draw fire and confuse their attackers, but with nine passes complete, Darth Sagan and a select few of his Cannonfodder are able to infiltrate the group and mount a chase of the frontrunners holding the TimeWarp device.
As evening closes on the streets of Paree, the rebel’s final destination is in sight. They are closing on the finish line. Darth Sagan is fighting hard, but the determined rebel alliance will not be denied. Taking up position on the front of the group are the elite fighter pilots Grrreipel, Cavrissian and the Padawan Kittel. Somewhat unexpectedly it is the Padawan Kittel leading the charge. Taking control of the device on the final lap, he races towards the finish point, the weapon shattering as the centrifugal force destroys the stability core.
A huge cheer erupts from the alliance, and from those watching the unfolding events. The destruction of the weapon that has terrified the galaxy is celebrated far and wide. The Ewoks start a giant evening party copied across worlds far and wide (apart from the bit where the Ewoks can’t hold their drink and it turns a bit nasty because of what cousin Darren said about our Shirley).
When the parties have finished, the rebels pay recognition to those who have made their success possible. In recognition of their stellar contribution to the rebel efforts during the campaign, Froome Skyrider and The Quintana are decorated as champions of the alliance. Hero of the final battle Kittel is promoted from a Padawan to a full Jedi Knight.
Froome Skyrider and the beautiful Princess Michelle are married, Obi-Jens Kenobi is worshipped as a god throughout the universe, and Jar-Jar Schleck is actually not quite as crap as everyone was expecting and is re-hired by the T.R.E.K. secret service on his home world. The Belkin warriors Mollema and TenDam high-five as they have secured their funding for another year, and the Oricans go on a drinking bender of absolutely EPIC proportions, and O’Grady is never seen again (it’s how he would’ve wanted to go). Cavrissian and Grrreipel, though not exactly friends, are united in their dislike of the younger, cooler-coiffed, fresh Jedi Kittel. Darth Sagan is forced to dye all exposed parts of his body green as a punishment for failing to retain the TimeWarp device by the Empire. Contador Solo and the crew of the Millennium Falcon decide the straight and narrow is clearly not for them, and return to their smuggling ways.
And the Empire? They have been developing a new weapon. Enter, The Shark…
… Fin
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