In typical UCI fashion, the UCI management committee announced last-minute additional changes to the 2012 UCI World Championships being held in Limburg, Netherlands this September.
Pat McQuaid, in a fresh shirt (his 5th of the day) mixes it up with British Royalty (Photo courtesy of Steephill.tv/Reuters)
“With our continued emphasis on contrived global cycling initiatives, we have decided on a new process which will allow more riders from around the world to participate,” stated UCI Press Officer Enrico Carpani at a press conference in Aigle.
The initiatives include
- automatically granting entry for 9 member teams of Tanzania, Namibia, Egypt, Ivory Coast, United Arab Emirates, Iraq, Syria, Mongolia, Thailand, El Salvador, and Guatemala under the recently created “Cycling Equalization Act of August 2012″ for the road race portion of competition
- a 10-minute head start for the riders entered into the race under the above-referenced CE Act
- motorpacing for the CEA teams in the first 10 minutes to give them equal footing
- race radios for the CEA teams only
- relaxed TUE standards for CEA teams
- Time Trial events of 1 km, 5km, 10 km, and 15 km for CEA teams only
- Only one entry of non-CEA countries into the standard individual time trial, and four entries per CEA teams
The reaction from the national federations who traditionally have dominated the world championships was swift, including one anonymous member of the UCI management committee who felt the initiatives were a punishment.
“I have no doubt that the UCI is upset about certain federations and certain anti-doping agencies of national federations and their actions. Since McQuaid and company have pretty much ruined cycling already, I guess they are just wanting to finish off the job,” commented the anonymous UCI management committee member from his office in Colorado Springs.
Members of the pro peloton were incensed at the developments, noting that with the additions to the road race, the total number of participants has reached over 300 riders.
“Considering the UCI’s lack of respect for riders and their safety, I guess putting over 300 riders together in a race is their way of creating a new version of two-wheeled roller derby. When that 10-minute lead evaporates in 15 minutes, I expect there to be complete and total carnage. That’s pretty much standard operating procedure for the UCI these days,” stated Stuart O’Grady, a recent victim of a broken collarbone at the Vuelta.
UCI president Pat McQuaid was insulted by the disagreement from the cycling establishment.
“Look, I make the rules. I make the decisions. It’s my sport. I can change my mind on anything at the drop of a hat and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. These feckers can just deal with my decisions in private. As leader of this authoritarian democracy, they’re lucky we’re not throwing them into UCI jail in Aigle and tossing away the key. Fortunately for me, none of these dips ever act on their bellyaching,” commented a smirking McQuaid.
In related news, the UCI announced a major sponsorship deal with the Evsen Group, and are exploring a deal with Andre Gillioz that will bring a new WorldTour race to Azerbaijan in 2014.
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